The Crossroads of the Aether
My dear friend Rolland said that it is time to expose another one of my phobia's. So here goes. I have finally arrived at TeslaCon. I spent more than I should on clothes. I had visions of people smiling at me and saying things like.. "My don't you look grand!" or "Don't you look distinguished.". Of course everyone looks grand and your just another figure in the backdrop. The real stars are the creative people who stand out with there unique creations. Ok so now what? If you take a look at the attached picture everyone is engrossed in there own little world. I wandered around until somebody actually looked at me. Once that happened I would attempt a conversation. However, I never was invited to join a group. I know it's my own fault (I think.) but I have no idea on how to penetrate a clique. I think that part of the problem is that I feel that I don't really have anything to offer. The other part is that these people obviously know each other so what right do I have to barge in and try to become part of something I have no right. How do you say to a group of strangers, "Hello, I have things of interest to say may I join in? Perhaps have a drink together?" I have a little better idea from my last discussion but I really don't know what I'm going to do at the Symposium. Sometimes I think that I shouldn't even go and save the anguish. Am I the only one to feel this way? And you know something else.. sometimes I do not make a comment in one of the discussions because I feel that my opinion doesn't count. Pretty silly huh.
I do admit it's pretty difficult trying to fit into something you had just gotten into, like with me and steampunk - especially when having a persona that's not fully developed. And going to a convention, like my very first time at a convention, was nerve-wracking, as I felt there were a lot of people there that knew eachother and have had their personae for awhile. Though I don't mind keeping to myself, especially when I was pressed for time at the convention I was at, I do enjoy getting to know people and their personae (though, being shy, a lot of times I don't show it). I'm still fairly new and have more learning and persona development to do, and some of that's going to have to rely on personal experiences and interaction with other people.
I do find that the smaller the crowd, the less nervous I am, and the more I may be able to open up a bit. This isn't just for steampunk gatherings, but everywhere I go.
If it is necessary to act out as my persona, then yes, I would want to. I don't go around all the time at events trying to act like who I'm supposed to be ... given I don't know much about detection and deduction, in real life. If I'm using the name of my persona and dressing like her, then perhaps an inkling of her will come out, but so far I hadn't fully acted out as her, at the few events I attended so far. Even on here, I'd love the chance to role-play as her to develop her further, but most of the time, like I'm doing now, I'm myself.
Best of wishes to you as well, and thank you.
Of course your comment doesn't count.............................to you.
I know what you mean, Lord Cerdic. But it seems to me that you are a very interesting person. I find it hard to believe you would have a difficult time at various gatherings.
And sure your opinion counts. Everyone's opinion counts.
Why thank you sir.
I've never actually talked to strangers in a group (not even in class XD). Like you I stand aside and watch people in their talks. But, if I wanted to get into a conversation I'd just stand at their circle (and I'm kinda short so maybe they won't notice) and if I had an opinion I'd say it and hopefully they'll be impressed by my answer and invite me to stay in their circle. If not, well it was worth the try.
It is of Mr.Bear's opinion that you cannot permit yourself to have a bad experience at TeslaCon.
Do try this:
Test the waters at the vendor area (first), it is to their benefit that they be pleasant and conversant with those looking at their wares. Compliment what you find that appeals to you, ask where that got their ideas from and praise them for their creativity, whether it be in the products they sell, the way the present themselves, their personal wardobe, their outwardness, whatever honestly strikes you as admirable. They are a captive audience, and you need not make a purchase, just be pleasant.
Do that for a while until you get a feel for the task at hand. Then the segue is quite simple, to continue with the same activity with the other attendees.
You Lord Ball are among our most dignified appearing citizenry, it will indeed be taken as quite the compliment when you chat with others, praising their personal style.
I do hope you turn this weekend around to suit your purposes
Mr. Bear himself has the natural tendency to be a bit of a wallflower. I do fight my instincts as often as possible to chat with new people and manage to make friends in unlikely circumstances. l'd love to sip punch and vanish into the background as a simple voyeur, but what fun is there in that? Plus how can a 300 pound man with a wild beard hope to accomplish such feats anyway?
My circle of friends view me as very outgoing...but, if they only knew what was going on in my head
Afterwards there cannot be regret if you have acted outwardly charming, unless of course you've managed to ingratiate yourself with someone psychopathic.
It has indeed happened in my life, but we all move on.
The main thing to take from this is the importance of speaking to people
That sounds exactly like my experience at Wicked Faire last weekend. I can only empathize with your plight, Dear Cerdic.
Oh, of course I did have fun. One looks for the bright side in things. Still, I did have the similar experience and I am often overly concerned about becoming a "cling on"...one of those annoying persons that hang out with a group that would rather not include them but are too polite to say so.
I've been mulling over whether I want to go to Steampunk World's Fair in May. As I'm doing the Philadelphia Comic Con two weeks after it, it's hard to justify the expense...especially if I have a repeat of WF. ...though a few certain parties will be there...
I don't think you're as dense as you think you are. ;)
I plan to attend the Symposium. You may walk/sit with me. I will be attending solo for none of my friends are Steampunk. It will be wonderful to locate the others we have bonded with here within the Empire as well. I plan to try Absinthe for the first time and I will need some looking after. lol
aww.. you are so sweet Lord Cerdic Ball! I don't plan on drinking much..just maybe a serving or...two.lol.. I must be careful...it wouldn't be very attractive for a mermaid to try to balance herself in highheel shoes under the influence of Absinthe. =)