The Crossroads of the Aether
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby formally invite you to attend The Accepted Cog Saloon.
For all those worried about the time of day, do not fret. I have oft heard the saying "it is 5'oclock on Friday somewhere." Well I fed this data into my analytical engine, then plugged it into one of Mr. Steampunker's temporal iris machines. Once the crank on the tabulator was turned, Eureka, a temporal time shift bubble encased the saloon. Once you enter the doors of this place, it is 5 of the clock on a Friday afternoon, and you can pack up your worries and enjoy it like it is the weekend tomorrow.
What happens after you leave the temporal bubble is your problem, sorry.
Want a beverage or foodstuff that does not exist in England in the Year 18..? Do not fret. A well respected author I refer to a lot discovered L-space, that dimension created by the accumulation of knowledge into which all libraries in time and space are linked.
I reasoned that since once alcohol is consumed people seem to know everything, the same principles could be applied here, thus:
Alcohol=knowledge, knowledge=power, power = energy, energy=matter, and matter=mass.
Since mass has the ability to warp space, this formulae allowed me to punch through the barrier of space and time and link all places where alcohol is served via B-space, wherever and whenever they may be. So, request a food or drink, and I shall navigate the labyrinth of B-space to find you your desire (by removing it from another’s establishment) and return to you in mere moments. There is a karma in it all, as I have allowed other barkeeps entrance to the system, so we all borrow from each other.
So, come one, come all, park your air ships on the roof, shrug off your jetpacks and coats, wipe the coal dust from your cheeks, and come in for an evening of entertainment and lively discussion.
Make it a *hic* double then my good man...we must *URP* not allow time, temporal or otherwise, to interfere with the party, would you not agree? I DID say double, correct?
oops, swear somone jogged my arm just then, seems like a triple it is then sir. One for me too? Don't mind if i do. Damn, thats is fine.
*** bats eyes at Bantho, and swoons ***
Perfect, you have captured the likeness implicitly.
Lady Camryn, Bantho is his own, um..... man. He can come and go as he pleases, and he is currently pleased to look over our establishment in return for food and board and the occasional release to pursure his, well i guess you would call them hobbies. However, if your... friend wants to get to know him he may oblige. Now Zaleena has proven herself handy with the deadly use of Mr. Blackthorn Staff, I am happy to leave the wellbeing of the patrons in her hands. Bring him back in one piece please.
Phew- what a ridiculous day- If that bottle of Four Roses is still hanging around in this dimension, I could use a double!! And perhaps a small plate of barbeque peanuts if it's not too much trouble?
of course my dear, exactly you left it. And your nuts.
lay your load on me, bartenders are extremely gifted listeners. What is the trouble?
People making ridiculous demands without first providing me with any pertinent information about how I can actually help them. Topped off with vehicle troubles makes it the kind of day I'm glad is over.
**nods knowingly** Don't you just love the people who want it done, and now, without considering your own predicaments. I was a teacher in a past life, and the demands made by higher eschalons, or parents for that matter, withnout considering how much you know about a situation was at times mind blowing.
Did you kick the tyre. I find it helps.
Kicking things always helps. As does punching. And stabbing. And *hic* poking...
*giggles and spins on chair*
Glad to see my gals have taken to barkeeping well. I understand more now why the market is flooded with Circassians. They're pretty, AND they are fast learners!
On another note, I'm still on the magical surgeon's remedies, so just a sarsaparilla for me. Would you like to try some of this new "bastani"? It's very cold, like faloodeh, but it's based with cream and mixed with saffron and pistachios. Very good indeed.