The Crossroads of the Aether
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby formally invite you to attend The Accepted Cog Saloon.
For all those worried about the time of day, do not fret. I have oft heard the saying "it is 5'oclock on Friday somewhere." Well I fed this data into my analytical engine, then plugged it into one of Mr. Steampunker's temporal iris machines. Once the crank on the tabulator was turned, Eureka, a temporal time shift bubble encased the saloon. Once you enter the doors of this place, it is 5 of the clock on a Friday afternoon, and you can pack up your worries and enjoy it like it is the weekend tomorrow.
What happens after you leave the temporal bubble is your problem, sorry.
Want a beverage or foodstuff that does not exist in England in the Year 18..? Do not fret. A well respected author I refer to a lot discovered L-space, that dimension created by the accumulation of knowledge into which all libraries in time and space are linked.
I reasoned that since once alcohol is consumed people seem to know everything, the same principles could be applied here, thus:
Alcohol=knowledge, knowledge=power, power = energy, energy=matter, and matter=mass.
Since mass has the ability to warp space, this formulae allowed me to punch through the barrier of space and time and link all places where alcohol is served via B-space, wherever and whenever they may be. So, request a food or drink, and I shall navigate the labyrinth of B-space to find you your desire (by removing it from another’s establishment) and return to you in mere moments. There is a karma in it all, as I have allowed other barkeeps entrance to the system, so we all borrow from each other.
So, come one, come all, park your air ships on the roof, shrug off your jetpacks and coats, wipe the coal dust from your cheeks, and come in for an evening of entertainment and lively discussion.
I say! What might the world come to if we were not her now to see that such foolishness does not occur. By the by good show on the gin and tonic; it is far better than what I am used to finding...right down to the twist of lime.
Well these all seem like good reasons to come in and enjoy a quite drink or six.
I do hope that poor J.T. Ripper managed to have his way and get more people out onto the streets. He seems like a nice man, who just wanted to meet new people while out for a stroll.
I do agree. Mr.J.T.Ripper seems to be looking out for the wellfare of others. Walking is such a good way to get fresh air and meet others. I would do more but for the broken pavements. I would hate to turn my ankle or ruin my new pair of boots.
OK. all patrons, we have been cooped up in here too long. Let us go for an invigorating walk around the city, looking at the wonderful sights, enjoying the bracing fresh air, and playing leap the horse turds. Any takers?
*patrons all stare into their glasses*
No? Well, ladies, mind the bar, Bantho, mind the customers. I'm off for a walk. I might even try to meet that generous Mr. Ripper
or just a bicycle built for two?
you want to ride that in heels????
I must say, this Victorian clothing makes one look fine, but it is not entirely functional, wot. I can hardly play with the children or jump off the furniture with tight vests and jacket son can i.
Never mind a corset and heels.
Hmm quiet in here. This walking thing must be taking on. Funny that some of my usual customers have not returned yet.
I've done my walking for the day- what do you have in the way of an excellent wine, Barkeep?
Ah good, she returns, i was getting worried. Now red of white? I have an 1775 Spatlese wine of German make, interestingly the grapes came from a late harvest, and were semi rotted when it was made, however they produced an exceptional sweet Riesling variety wine. This bottle is from the original batch, they adopted the technique of delaying picking for every harvest thereafter, but i believe the original is the best.
Not a sweet wine fan, though I appreciate the complexity of the process - perhaps one of the dryer Rhein wines?