The Crossroads of the Aether
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby formally invite you to attend The Accepted Cog Saloon.
For all those worried about the time of day, do not fret. I have oft heard the saying "it is 5'oclock on Friday somewhere." Well I fed this data into my analytical engine, then plugged it into one of Mr. Steampunker's temporal iris machines. Once the crank on the tabulator was turned, Eureka, a temporal time shift bubble encased the saloon. Once you enter the doors of this place, it is 5 of the clock on a Friday afternoon, and you can pack up your worries and enjoy it like it is the weekend tomorrow.
What happens after you leave the temporal bubble is your problem, sorry.
Want a beverage or foodstuff that does not exist in England in the Year 18..? Do not fret. A well respected author I refer to a lot discovered L-space, that dimension created by the accumulation of knowledge into which all libraries in time and space are linked.
I reasoned that since once alcohol is consumed people seem to know everything, the same principles could be applied here, thus:
Alcohol=knowledge, knowledge=power, power = energy, energy=matter, and matter=mass.
Since mass has the ability to warp space, this formulae allowed me to punch through the barrier of space and time and link all places where alcohol is served via B-space, wherever and whenever they may be. So, request a food or drink, and I shall navigate the labyrinth of B-space to find you your desire (by removing it from another’s establishment) and return to you in mere moments. There is a karma in it all, as I have allowed other barkeeps entrance to the system, so we all borrow from each other.
So, come one, come all, park your air ships on the roof, shrug off your jetpacks and coats, wipe the coal dust from your cheeks, and come in for an evening of entertainment and lively discussion.
Please do, there's a generous bottle here, and I can't possibly take more than one glass.
At a time.
believe me, lady camryn, for a while there Lady A needed no more alchyhol. But she seems to have caught her second wind.
And what do you mean. you have two hands don't you.
By the by, how are you this fine afternoon
Coming right up sir. May i perhaps inquire why you chose the business of mortician? Was it a Family business? A good business choice due to the always steady flow of customers? Or perchance you just like the company? I always enjoy finding out a little more about my visitors.
By the by, How are your feelings about the dead, that Great Majority. If you are suggestible on the matter i believe i know a couple of chaps who might like to propose a business deal. If you have nothing but the greatest respect for them, please forgive my forthrightness.
(Please see this as a steampunk fiction comment and not some horrid comment from an absolutely sick mind)
A wicked storm has brewed overhead. Barkeep, please bring me something to fend off the storm. I know it is late and I should be heading home, but I am lost in my thoughts of another time and place. I fear your Absenth has gone straight to my head. All I can see is green fairys.
Bantho! get them the hell out of here! I won't have the blighters messing with my customers. Sorry mam, they tend to enjoy playing the will'o'wisp to people they see partaking in the lovely green juice. They play a merry hell with the temporal iris too, thus taking peoples imaginations elsewhere. Do not worry, they shall not be harmed, although Bantho has been known to squeeze a little if they bite his fingers.
Perchance the drinks are being mixed too much, spirits such as absinthe should perhaps not be mixed with such a heady fruit of the vine. I shall get Greta to make up a tray of tea things, always a good way to wind down from such hectic happenings.
Thank you kind sir. I wouldn't have minded the fairies so much but they were cheeky little chaps! I prefer my men big and strong, like my drinks.
so.. not tea then. Ok. I can mix a quite wicked gin and tonic, or we could go straight to the shelf of brown liquids.
Tequila shots all around!
Just how might a gin and tonic be considered wicked good bar keep?
Sorry, time traveller and interdimensional visitor speak. wicked is a saying from the future, meaning extremely good.
It seems a weird saying really, as wicked originally meant bad in our time. I guess it was taken up as a saying as people in the future became a bit risque, and started seeing wicked, (as in naughty or slightly perverted) as a good thing, especially in the bed room. I hasten to end this line of conversation, as i do not wish to offend the good people in the room (even though i am technically out walking at the moment, these temporal hiccups will be the death of me!)
Just know, i meant that i mix a very, very nice gin and tonic.