Society of Steampunk Singles

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Comment by Lady Eileen S on October 1, 2011 at 9:44pm

I'd dare say I agree, Penelope.  And you live in CA.  It is a bit of a jet for me but I do have friends in the SF area so I get out there from time to time.  Have you attended any of the events out there?  I haven't kept track of when the next Dickens Faire is this year but you may have given me an even better excuse to attend.  =)

Comment by Penelope Waite Westcott on October 1, 2011 at 8:57pm

Ah, M'Dear Fibonacci,

I do believe in the possibility of such a man... I must admit I am too much of a romantic as well.  I say too much because after leaving a 25 year marriage, and still having that romantic belief I have had a crash course in Male Assholery, (please pardon my language.)  I still believe it is possible, but I am now less apt to jump into something too quickly, which I once did. 

 

Ultimately, it is not about finding the perfect person but the one you enjoy spending time with the most. Communication and the desire to share with each other will keep things alive.  And thus the suggestion to make friends is a wise one.  That's where I am at this point, focusing on life and interests and meeting new people... As Lady Eileen said, living life to its fullest.  It's a shame you live so far away.  ;)

 

Anne, I'm sorry for the pain you've suffered.  May you experience better in the future.  Lady Eileen, I suspect we have quite a bit in common.  (my one daughter is in college...)

 

Comment by Lady Thriller on October 1, 2011 at 7:52pm

Ahhh I understand the frustration...but Ive gotten the romantic schtick plenty of times.Impress with me something else new...puleeeze.
Cause that s*it makes me roll my eyes and its old.

So Fibonacci,hang in there...there are women who want that and will enjoy that.I was once one of those women.

Comment by Fibonacci C. Quence on October 1, 2011 at 7:45pm

I thank you dear lady, I can only be myself, I refuse to be anything else.  *tips hat*

Comment by Lady Eileen S on October 1, 2011 at 7:37pm

You, my dear Fibonacci C. Quence, are a man dear man and truly a prize.  =)

Comment by Fibonacci C. Quence on October 1, 2011 at 7:21pm

I don't mean so sound like a sob story or anything Lady Eileen it is just the fact that as a child I used to see my mom being treated so badly by these terrible men and how sad it made her.  In fact it was a man who caused her death at the age of 28.  But from that I could never bring myself to be that man who treats women so badly, I just can't do it.  But when I hear women say that all men are this or all men are that it irritates me because it seems so judgmental.  I am not intending any ill will to you Anne, you have every right to feel embittered.  But it just frustrates me when I am walking down the street and I see these girls hanging onto a guy who doesn't even acknowledge their existence or treats them like trash and I sit here single.  Or I see women who refuse to believe that a man can still be romantic, chivalrous and not full of s***.  You can call me a dreamer all you want but when I was little I loved the movie Never Ending Story and when I saw the princess in that movie I thought she was so beautiful and I had said that one day I will find a girl as pretty as her and as wise as her and I will kiss her, and I will treat her with the love and respect that she deserves. That is my peace m'lady's  take it as your will governs.

Comment by Lady Thriller on October 1, 2011 at 6:30pm

Ah that sounds wonderful.Glad its in the cards for someone in their life.

Comment by Lady Eileen S on October 1, 2011 at 6:20pm

wow... reading that makes me sad.  I feel fortunate that I haven't had to walk in your shoes.  If partnership, for me, was about finding someone I could tolerate I would choose to be alone.

So far my life has been vivid and full of fun.  And, while I'm just now coming out of a "vanilla existance" so to speak and into embracing what I have for so long tucked away as nonsense, I cannot begrudge anyone the life I've lived.  I only hope to explore more, experience more, and live a full, brilliant life so that I can die happily when the time comes.  =)

BTW, my marriage lasted 25 years. I'm 45 years old and have 3 brilliant teenagers - 2 of them in college.  

(this is me and my daughter at RenFaire this year)

Comment by Lady Thriller on October 1, 2011 at 5:39pm

I agree and disagree to some extent with that statement...I think you have to be able to balance the good and the bad. Some people cannot. Some people want it to always be good,happy,and perfect. This cannot be possible nor can it always be bad,horrible or hateful. (Some people thrive on fighting..my ex husband once said to me,'I guess we'll be that couple that just fights' like this was an acceptable way to lead a marriage...) I have come to the horrible conclusion that is truly comes down to...finding someone I can tolerate...haha. I go with the assumption that all men are at various levels of douchebaggery.It is just finding that one person that has an acceptable level of douchebaggery...haha. My exhusband was not acceptable level nor was the one who followed after him,so they are both no longer in my life (though the exhusband for reasons of having a child is to some extent. )

 

That being said...yes as much I would like to have someone to share things with and enjoy them...I don't have the time. My personal life is not together enough to bring someone into it full time. I can't take the dramaz of a relationship right now...I can't take the stress of someone being upset that I am not calling them every single waking moment of the day or canceling my plans to spend a whole day with them. I don't have time for that bulls*it. I work a full time job and will be going to college full time in January,and a list of other things. If a man wants to take me out to dinner,fine but I cannot allow myself to occupied with another person other than my daughter.

 

::shrugs::

 

So I work on my life and getting it back together,and maybe there will be a nice life accessory called a signicant other,and maybe there won't be.

Comment by Lady Eileen S on October 1, 2011 at 5:10pm

This is directed to Fibonacci C. Quence and Anne "Reds" Marie's discussion about relationships that, sadly, I can't find a way of threading to it directly:

You both sound like you've been hurt.  And, naturally, we all mold our concept of reality from what we've experienced.  Thus, I can only share my own...

I was married for a very long time.  Then life changed things.  I can tell you that it was beautiful up to the end.  I wouldn't do anything differently.  Life just happened.  And it wasn't about wanting to change or change someone else.  In the end, it wasn't even about love.  One of the biggest lessons I've learned in life is that love doesn't keep a couple together.  Fun does.  Once you stop having fun, once you stop laughing together, it's over.  May be quick, may be slow, but it's over nonetheless.

 

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