Being allied with the Steampunk Empire we have a grand opportunity to eliminate all who stand in our way and rule the world.

eSTEAMed Greetings Monsieur Gregor!

Congrat-VOUS-lations, & many, many happy returns.
I HEAR-by DEADicate this SINematic encapsulation of my nice (and slightly naughty) little ditty to your special occasion.
Happy Natal Date! Enjoy!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vddn7QsWTug

"Soundly" yours,

MADemoiselle Veronique
Mad Sonictist

Vous are cordially invited to join my Fan(g) Group, here on The Empire:
http://steampunk.ning.com/group/VeroniqueChevalierMadSonictist
.

May you have a peaceful journey
Across the sea of time and space,
And come safely to a landing
With only happiness to face.

Sincerest Wishes for This and all of Your Birthdays to Come!

Professor Philip McKrakenDirector, The Asylum for the Chronologically Dislocated
http://chronologicallydislocated.ning.com

Happy Birthday! Hope it's steamy!

Happiest of birthdays, Gregor von Traze, from Her Majesty's Royal Airship Command. kellysheroes.webs.net for Gadgets Gizmos, Goggles & Gear or Visit My Page here on Steampunk Empire!

Oberst.... Gregor,
I don't know whether the English are behind all this, but it looks like someone very close to you might be behind it all.

I may have made a very bad mistake. I am comforted by the fact that you are speeding my way and may be able to fix it. I understand if you wish to fire me. I will resign quietly.

Poppycock and I did venture out for water. We discovered the French's water supply and the Monsieur's supply of Thallium, and I made a hasty decision to rid us of the French forever, and poisoned their supply. It is, as you said, a slow and gradual poison so you still have time to save your wife.

Because just after I dumped in the Thallium, Poppycock and I were hastily retreating, and I looked up at the command bridge of one of the Zeppelins. There she was! She was speaking in perfect English, and gesturing to the water. At her bidding, a French soldier came down to the water and filled her canteen. Poppycock took advantage of my surprise to slip away from me. He left me exposed and the French soldiers chased me.

I tried to warn them about the water, but I don't think my French is very good. I am sure she drank it.

I escaped and returned to my cave, only to discover Poppycock had been constructing some sort of escape device right under my very nose. I shot at him (and missed!) and chased him off, so now have the device for myself. It is a strange sort of long open-air pod with a broom frame. It handles like a dream!

I am speeding out of the canyon. I have no bullets left, no water, no gegengift to offer your wife. I see a shape on the horizon. Is that you and the Oberwachmeister?

... I shall turn around and enter the canyon again. You may need backup. If I cannot steal a weapon from a few Frenchmen, what kind of Englishman am I? -Alice

I've been tricked! The Monsieur set a clever trap for me. He maneuvered as if to land inside the Kataka Canyon, but had friends waiting for me. My zeppelin took heavy fire from the French cannons and went down in smoke.

There's an Englishman here, John Poppycock, who swears he knows you. He rode in on the third cannonball aimed at my ship and immediately swore he was going to save me from the Monsieur's trap. In fact he swore he'd do all sorts of things to help me. As my ship still went down, and as he hasn't explained how exactly he came to arrive by cannon off a French airship, I now have the useless man pinned at gunpoint in a cave.

The French are here in great numbers, with so many patrols I dare not move from my hiding spot except to send this transmission. Based on the air power alone hidden in this canyon, I'd say the French are looking to take German-controlled Afrika. Poisoning your water may only be the start.

The Monsieur must have hoped to turn you against Weetumba's followers and your Chieftain friend by planting the evidence in his lab and allowing me to find it. I'm glad you didn't fall for such a trick! (And please congratulate the Oberwachmeister for me.)

Our food supplies are good but water is running scarce. Tomorrow I will have to venture out with Poppycock, who is proving more useless by each moment. Do you know this clown? May I shoot him?

-Alice

Oberst, your English is as fine as the very man who speaks it. I was quite pleased and surprised to see, in your last, that you already knew what I discovered last night in the Monsieur's zeppelin laboratory. This Weetumba must be supplying your spy with the poison! He has invited the Monsieur to some sort of tribal ceremony tomorrow evening in the village. The Monsieur appears to have declined, because he is flying in the wrong direction. (As am I - I am following the Monsieur at a discreet distance.) Perhaps you could see your way to this event, and discover your spy there?

I hope it is that simple. You can only guess at Weetumba's motives based on what you know of the Tanganyikains. I'd expect trouble if I were you. Thankfully you are always so well armed with the most deliciously deadly finery, and after all, there is no gegengift for a well-placed bullet.

I must away. The proximity alarm is sounding. -Alice

Oberst, how alarming. One should like to assume one's comrades have one's back.

There are many poisons that can be dispersed slowly into water. Based on your description, I would guess this one to be a heavy metal, which generally needs to be made by an alchemist. I had a chat with a certain Monsieur this morning to see if he had supplied anyone recently with a large enough amount to affect your rather large water supply. And he had! Our conversation went something like this:

(Me) Has anyone bought - oh, say, five pounds of heavy metal poisons in the last month or so?
(Him) Wi! Five pounds of Thallium I sold to him.
(Me) Excellent! To who?
(Him) *frowning* Who what?
(Me) Who bought five pounds of Thallium?
(Him) No.
(Me) But I thought you said someone had bought -
(Him) No, madame, -you- asked whether anyone had bought five pounds of Thallium, to which I reply "wi!"
(Me) *thunking down coins* To which I must ask again: who?
(Him) *taking coins* No. Who did not.
(Me) But... *more coins*
(Him) *taking coins* Wi?
(Me) I just need a name.
(Him) Anyone. Wi?
(Me) No, the buyer's name.
(Him) Wi. The buyer.
(Me) *more coins* Well?
(Him) *taking coins* Wi! Is well.
(Me) No! What's the buyer's name!
(Him) No, is not!

So on and so forth. I never did get a clear answer from the crook. I will try to sneak into his zepplin tomorrow night and search his lab for a clue (and steal back my coins). Meanwhile... I am sending you a small amount of Prussian Blue - the antidote. There is only enough for yourself and one other person, so try to stick to drinking beer!

-Alice Gulch

((Interesting that Gift means poison. I would like to assume that some clearly-labeled German poison made its way to England under the guise of generosity and spawned a new word.))

Hmm, I am most intrigued by your mention of poison. In the water supply you say? I wonder what my African contemporaries are like, what methods they use, etc. I should love to investigate! How long have you been having trouble with your water supplies?

I can send my consulting rates along to DOAK if you would like the matter looked into. Then I shall have an excuse to see Africa! Meanwhile... you are drinking nothing but beer?!