Jenny Tonic's Page

Thank you so very much for adding me as a friend, Miss Jenny Tonic, and might I say, I think your name to be delightfully witty. Kudos to your parents, for I deem it likely they were the sort who appreciated a good after-dinner cocktail. .

I wish our first contact could be of a more pleasant nature, but I have found my way unto your esteemed demesnes on a perilous mission of most dire import, for a dreadful beast is currently at large in the Steampunk Empire and it is my intent to essay its capture. I speak of none other than the insufferable Jersey Devil Duck-Dog!


Pray, tell me, have you happened to have seen this rascally creature hereabouts? I have been tracking it for days on end, and suspect it could very well be hiding close by, for I am ever aware when I am in proximity to any supernatural being, and, sadly, I happened to have stepped in some of its droppings a mere league from this very spot.

If you catch sight of the thing, I urge you to exercise utmost caution. It possesses strange mental powers and is a master of the art of Full Animal Lighter-than-air Levitation, (F.A.L.L. as the phenomena is known to experts in the field.) I can’t begin to tell you of the many and sundry flying animals I have endured while tracking the depraved beast... Why, I was bitten by an airborne ferret just yesterday! If you happen upon this creature, avoid eye contact at all costs and be alert for strange changes of behavior in your household pets, behavior like: unreasonable aggression, foaming of the mouth, floating…the symptoms are unmistakable.

Would that I could stay longer and share your esteemed society, Dear Miss Tonic, but I fear I must intrepidly press on, as the fate of the Empire teeters in the balance; I am sure of it. for I have caught wind of ominous portents, troubling auguries and possible future scenarios that could involve dire stuff that won’t be Any Fun Whatsoever if I don’t get busy capturing my preternatural quarry.

Absurdly yours,

-Horatio