The Steampunk Empire

The Crossroads of the Aether

An airship pirate walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Say, pirate. Why do you have a captain's wheel down your pants?"

The pirate says, "Arrr. It's driving me nuts."

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A pirate with an eye patch and a hook hand walks into a bar and the bartender asks "How did you get that hook hand?"

And the pirate answers "lost it during a fierce battle"

And the Bartender then says "Oh wow, is that where you lost your eye as well?"

And the pirate says "No. A couple weeks later a bird pooped in my eye and I forgot about the hook hand..."


A blond, a redhead and a brunette are walking through the woods.

The blond looks down and stops. "Hey girls. I found some deer tracks."

The redhead walks over to the blond and looks down. "Those are too big to be deer tracks. They are obviously bear tracks."

The brunette walks over to the two girls and says, "Those aren't deer tracks or bear tracks. Those are..."


The three women get hit by a train.

An aristocrat of a man is meandering through the village when he spies a fine damsel aside the road with a canine sitting along side her. He approaches the young damsel with the intent of a harmless flirt.

“My good lady. Does your furry friend per chance have any tendencies to nip at strangers if one is so tempted to befriend it?” he asks.

“Why, no”, she says. "My dog is as harmless and lovable a pet one could find.”

The man then proceeds to reach down and attempt to pet the canine when the dog suddenly bites him on the back of his hand.

He quickly straightens up shaking his injured hand in pain.

“I thought you informed me that your dog doesn’t bite,” he protests.

She replies, “That’s not my dog.”


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